Introduction
In a fast-paced country like Singapore, moments of silence can feel uncomfortable. We’re used to filling every gap — giving instructions quickly, asking the next question, moving on to the next activity. As parents, it’s natural to want to maximise every interaction and expose our children to as much language as possible.
However, language development isn’t just about how much we say — it’s also about giving children time to respond. A small pause, no matter your child’s age, can make a big difference.
How Silence Supports Language Development:
Silence is “crucial for the mind to register information from its surroundings; thus, it is in activity, generally in silence, that stimulates brain activity most” (Brown, 2019, 18). In between all the words that we say to our children, giving them pauses here and there can support their ability to process the different sounds and tones that make up words and form language.
Silence can also give us time as parents to observe what our child is interested in or trying to communicate. Children often learn best when they are engaged in an activity that is of interest to them.
Turn taking:
Turn taking is one of the foundational skills of communication, often seen in conversations between individuals. By giving our children brief silent periods, we invite them to participate in the turn taking process of a conversation.
Giving your child a chance to communicate will encourage them to keep communicating with you as they understand that you are interested in what they have to say, even if it’s just a sound or a babble!
Examples of Using Silence in Everyday Situations:
Your infant wakes up from a nap:
You ask “How was your nap?” then pause (try to count 3-5 seconds) and look expectantly at them. They smile, coo, or babble. You respond, “Wow, it was a good nap!”.
You sing a song with your toddler that you both listen to often:
You sing “Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star, how I wonder what you …” then pause and wait expectantly. Your child may then finish the last word or make a sound to finish the song.
Conclusion:
Giving children intentional pauses during conversations creates space for them to participate. When we slow down and wait, we give them the opportunity to experiment with sounds, gestures, words, and facial expressions to communicate.
Next time you’re interacting with your child, try pausing after you ask a question, during a familiar song, or before handing them a desired item. Hold the moment, make eye contact, and wait expectantly. You might be surprised by how much your child communicates when they’re given the time and space to respond.
References
Brown, Paula. 2019. “When Silence is Golden.” Early Years Educator 21 (2): 28–30.
Holliday, A. NA. Space to Grow: Silence Promotes Vocabulary Development.
Retrieved from:
https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/silence-promotes-vocabulary-development
Weitzman, E. (2017). It Takes Two To Talk: A Practical Guide for Parents of Children with Language Delays. (5th ed.). The Hanen Centre.
